Work Doesn't Suck

Hey guys, it's been awhile.  That is entirely my fault.  Lately, every time I've thought "I need to blog," I've been hit by this super big wave of laziness.  That, and I haven't really felt like I have done anything even remotely close to being worthy of immortality on the Internet.

Recently, I've been really grateful for the job that I have.  I work at a residential treatment center where we help adolescent girls come to terms with, cope with, and overcome difficult things in their lives like trauma, addictions, etc.  I go there three to four times a week and spend eight hours with these girls.

I just need to say how awesome this job is.  These girls make me laugh all the time, they make me see the good in things (including myself), and they make me feel loved.  I am hurt when these girls are hurt, happy when they are happy; for me, it's a glimpse of what our Heavenly Father feels every day for us.  He is happy when we are happy, sad when we are sad, and rejoices with us in our triumphs.

This job has taught me so much about myself.  It has brought to light so many things about myself that  I need to change.  It has deepened my faith in my God and helped me realize how much I, as an individual, need that relationship with a higher power.  It has made me realize that I am worthy of love.

Actually, the love aspect is what keeps me coming back every day.  At first, I came because it was a job and I needed it.  Then, it was because I just enjoyed being around these people.  And now, it is because I feel genuine love from all these people here.  And I love all of them too!  It's crazy to think about the amount of love that goes on here.  It's crazy to think that all of these girls who have so much crap to wade through every single day can still reach out to the girls around them and love them when times are tough.  It's crazy to think that these girls can love me, a 23 year old guy that knows absolutely nothing of psychology or disorders or addictions because I choose to come here and make them a part of my life.

I try to express to them how much I love them and am inspired by them and their strength and courage. I'm not very good at it, but I'm learning.  I'm getting better at showing and telling these girls how much I love them and how much I want to be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to.  In loving them, I have found knowledge and understanding.

And even more exciting to me, I have found that they love me.

More to the Story

So, here's the next installment of the story.  Click it in the 'Awesome Links' box.

Luke

Awesomeness, Thy Name Is "Friend."

I think I'll just launch into this one rather than ease into it.  This is an Internet shout-out to some pretty awesome people in my life.  And, since nothing on the Internet every truly goes away, they can be known for their awesomeness forever and ever.

This past week was a pretty difficult week for me.  There were a lot of ups and downs that I had to deal with.  I started tutoring on my days off from New Haven; I worked my normal job; I played intramural volleyball; I wrote a paper on terrorism; I spent so much time just doing things and not enough time relaxing.  Well, on Friday it came to a head and broke.  My volleyball team lost, but it wasn't the losing that got to me.  It was stuff that one of my teammates had said, and I couldn't shake the anger I was feeling.

This is where the awesome people start proving their awesomeness.  I have some pretty sweet friends that always ask me how I'm doing no matter what.  The best part is that coming from them, I know it's a real question, not just one in passing.  That evening, it was my friend Kayla.  She saw that I was kind of in a sullen mood (I put it lightly there) and tried to get me to talk about it.  So I did, explaining much of what I have told you readers.  She left it at that because she could tell it was still a touchy subject.  Not too long later, though, she asked me this question:  "Luke, are you happy?"

Now, she has been asking me this question off and on for several weeks, and every time I say something along the lines of "Yes, I'm happy.  Am I giving the impression that I'm not?"  I usually say it pretty sarcastically, too.  This time, it kind of caught me off guard.  I threw out my usual "of course" answer, but it was a flat out lie (sorry about that, Kayla).  I wasn't okay, and she knew it.

Fast forward:  I was hanging out with her and my roommate, Brad, and I finally decided that she could know what was bothering me.  I made her dig for it (which was rude; again, sorry) because...I don't really know.  It was fun for me, in a nasty sort of way.  Anyway, she eventually got out what was bothering me.  And she didn't judge me for it.  She jokingly said that she thought I was being paranoid, but she just accepted it.

Second awesome friend of the week (and all-time, if we're being honest):  Brad.  I've told him before that I look up to him, but part of me still thinks he doesn't quite get it.  I place a lot of emphasis on my friends and I look for qualities in them that I admire and that I want in my life.  I think that Brad just has a lot of those kinds of qualities.  When I think of an example of someone living the gospel the way they should, I think of Brad.  When I think of someone fun to hang around, I think of Brad.  When I think of how I need to be nicer to people, I try to act like Brad.  I realize this sounds pretty gay, but I admire him a lot.  I'm always impressed by his insights and his strength of character.  He really is just that awesome.

Third awesome friend of the week:  my roommate, Logan.  On Saturday, I spent the morning helping another friend move, and I was gone longer than I anticipated.  I came back to rush some laundry through, but I didn't have enough time to completely finish it before I had to leave for work.  So, a few minutes before I left, I dumped my clothes out of my basket onto my bed and muttered something about how they would all be wrinkled because I didn't have time to fold them and put them away.  I grabbed my computer and left for work.  When I finally got home, I walked into my room to see that all my laundry had been folded (minus the underwear, but I get that part).  I turned to Logan and asked if he had done it.  He came up with some crack response about a laundry fairy, but eventually let slip it was he who had folded it.  Such a small act of kindness made my weekend.  I was truly appreciative.

So, those are just the more awesome moments of my friends this week.  All my friends are awesome, and I am truly blessed to have them.  A lot of the time, I question why they choose to be my friend when I can be pretty nasty with my sarcasm.  But, I figure I'm doing something right because they're sticking by me.  And once again, I'm truly grateful for that.

Luke

Back to the School

If I could make that title look different, I would make it look like the Back to the Future logo.  That's kinda what I was going for, anyway.  If only I could feel as great about school as I do about watching that movie.  Classic...but school isn't.

I've had many a thought run through my head already this semester.  Things like, "Wow, ASL is going to be really fun," or "Oh my gosh, this class is going to suck."  Sometimes, a cuss-word runs through my head.  Alas, I have not really achieved perfection yet.

One of the biggest things I've noticed is how many people there are at UVU.  I know that right now it's the biggest school (student-wise) in Utah, but it never really occurred to me how many students were actually there.  People throng the hallway (yes, singular) in a standing-room-only fashion, making me feel like I'm part of a herd of cattle.  Some of us move at different speeds than others, and standing-room-only doesn't help those that like to move faster.  You know what else doesn't help?  STOPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING HALLWAY!!!!  Two things about this:  1) I think it's great that you are so excited to see your friend again after such a long summer; 2) Move it to the wall so I can get to class.  This is probably my biggest pet peeve about the new semester.  Get out of my way!  I have places to go and things to do!

Done ranting.  School = BLECH!  Although, ASL is pretty cool.  It's super entertaining even if no one talks. EVER.

Work and school at the same time is going to be kinda hard though, especially when my tutoring kicks into gear.  That makes two jobs and being a full time student.  I guess there's a first time for everything?  I've never worked two jobs before, much less gone to school at the same time.  So, that will probably be my next adventure.

I Love to See the Temple!

I had the opportunity to go to the temple to today.  Ha, I say "opportunity" like the occasion doesn't arise very much.  Let me pause for a moment as you all think about where I live....yeah, it's still Provo.  So, the "opportunity" is pretty much omni-present, I just don't take it as often as I should.

But, I digress:  I went to the temple this morning.  I've gone a couple times throughout the summer and each time I've done something different.  I've done everything I can do in the temple from baptisms to sealings.  And that makes me feel like I've accomplished something this summer, something important anyway.

I don't know that I often express my love for the temple.  There are few places left on this earth where I can go to truly get away (and it's not because I'm a poor college student with no money for travel:  they just don't exist anymore).  My last getaway places are temples and big, open fields.  Or any vista that is big and open, like when I hiked Stewart falls with my friends and we looked out over the valley.  Those are the kinds of places where I feel most connected to my God and I start to get a sense of His grand designs for this world. They are the places where I can forget myself and my problems, everything that plagues my brain and screams for my attention.  I can go there and just be me or figure out who I am and how I fit into the Plan.

For the temple is a house of God, a place of love and beauty.

A Modern Anti-Nephi-Lehi

So, I know that you all LOVE it when I post about serious things (#sarcasm, for those that missed it), but this one is actually going to be pretty cool.

Today for work, I went on a journey.  My supervisor called me the other day to ask me to go because five girls from our house would be going, so we would technically need two staff.  I agreed because it sounded like something that would be super cool.  I got to work around 8:30a and prepared a lunch.  I changed into a swimsuit, and at 9:00a, me and the girls left to join the larger group of girls that would be going on this journey.

Let me now say something about these girls.  All of them are addicted to something, something bad that is killing them.  Or was.  They all had varying states of sobriety, and we got the opportunity to celebrate each and every girl and her accomplishments, from 1.5 years of sobriety down to two days clean.  After we introduced everyone, we loaded up some food and stuff into two vans, jumped in, and we drove off.  No one but the man and woman running the group knew where we were going.  This, I learned, was actually a tactic to get us all to our most vulnerable state.  We needed to be vulnerable so that we could be real with each other and ourselves.  We needed to be vulnerable so that we would remember today.

After two hours of driving, we arrived at our destination:  Middle of Nowhere, Desert, Utah.  Actually, it has a name:  Delta.  You may have heard of that.  Anyway, we stopped at a museum and learned about the Japanese internment camp that was located near the town back during World War II.  On our way out of the museum, we were each allowed to pick up a black obsidian rock.  The man running the journey told us that these black rocks were to represent the dark parts of ourselves that we desired to get rid of.  Ideally, they were to be our addictions.  From that point on in my day, I thought about my addictions, my darkest secrets that few people know.  Stuff that has been a significant part of my life since high school.  I focused on those addictions and visualized pushing the darkness into the rock that I was squeezing in my hands.

Here comes the cool part.  We drove out of Delta to the real Middle of Nowhere, Desert, Utah.  We all had our rocks in hand.  We found a lone tree, and walked over to it.  The man running everything produced a shovel and told us we were going to dig a hole as deep as we felt it needed to go, and then we were going to throw our rocks in it.  My mind immediately jumped to the story of the people of Anti-Nephi-Lehi in the Book of Mormon.  They had done this exact same thing!  They had dug a pit and then thrown their weapons of war into it because those weapons served as symbols.  They threw into that pit a part of their lives.  And here I was in the middle of the desert in Utah, standing in a circle around our pit, waiting for my turn to let go of my addictions and drop my rock in.

As it turns out, I went last.  I was finding it surprisingly difficult to want to throw that rock in.  Yet, at the same time, part of me was like, "LET ME GO!  I CAN'T WAIT TO BE RID OF THIS!!!!"  I stood at the edge and chose to let go of my addictions and bad tendencies because I was tired of those filthy chains binding me down.  And then, I threw my rock down to join the others.

We proceeded to bury them and make it look like nothing had been done.  We didn't want anyone to dig up what we had left behind.  It was a very emotional moment for everyone, myself included.  All I could think about was how happy and light I felt for making a solid, conscious decision to let go of my problems.

We drove down the highway for a little bit to a knoll, and there we started looking for sunstones.  They are these really cool rocks that look kind of like quartz, except they are completely see-through and tinted yellow, like the sun.  We needed to find them so that we could be reminded of our commitment to let go of our addictions and leave them in a hole in the desert.  I picked up quite a few and enjoyed working in the hot sun to find them.

The rest of the day was nice, but that was the part I wanted to focus on.  I didn't get back to work until 9:00p, but it was entirely worth it.  I am committed to leaving those parts of me in the desert where I will never find them again.  That's not to say that I won't have problems with my addictions in the future:  I will because I'm human.  But, something happened out there that has changed my perspective on it.  I have let go, and I don't plan on grabbing back on.

Apologies

My bad. Sorry for posting about respect twice. Deal with it. It's important.

Luke

Respect

So, it has been a good while since I have posted anything in this blog.  Mostly that's because I haven't had anything of real interest to report.  I never intended this to be a blog of my daily activities; it's supposed to be more of a significant-event journal.  So, brief catch up on the kind-of important events:  I quit my job at Vivint because it truly felt like Hell on earth.  I got a job at New Haven Residential Treatment Center.  It's an RTC for girls and it's actually really cool.  I like it a lot, and the girls there are some really good girls.  It's a different kind of job than I've ever had before, and I'm pretty excited by that.

This actually leads into the topic I want to write about:  respect.  It's a big thing where I work because a lot of people come into New Haven and don't have much of a concept of respect.  In my unprofessional opinion, they feel that respect is something to be earned, like trust.  However, in my experience, I have discovered that respect is something that should be freely given.  I'm all for earning trust:  that can cut both parties involved.  But we should respect everyone and the choices they make, whether they are good or bad.  People who make bad choices (or choices we don't agree with) are still people, and they deserve to be treated as such.

I don't know why, but this has kind of been my plug for the girls for the past week-and-a-half or so.  I have been encouraging them to be respectful of one another so that they can understand that everyone deserves respect at all times.  I feel like a lot of the problems in the world could be solved if everyone had respect for their fellow man.  We'll work towards love; but, we can all offer respect now.

The New Name

So, I'm thinking that the Internet will give everything away about the new name before you even get to reading this post.  So, without further ado, I have chosen Betsy's submission of "Son of a Sith," because it appeals to my nerdy Star Wars side and partly because I feel like I could use it as an expletive when I get tired of the current substitutes.  :D

Well done, Betsy; well done indeed!  To all of you who submitted names, I thank you.  It was entertaining, for me at least, to read the submissions and see just how clever some people are

I'm now changing topics and covering two different things in one post.  It's like writing two different letters on the same paper so that I can do my part to save the environment.  Remember my respect ventage?  It was the last post if you want to reread it (or first-time read it).  I feel like I should have also put into that post the use of the word "obviously."  I feel like the two ideas go hand-in-hand.  "Obviously, you don't know what you're doing."  "Obviously, your system is wrong."  "Obvioulsy I'm a stuck-up know-it-all."

That's what you sound like to me when you use that word.  Not all the time, though; don't worry, people.  But if you're using it to try and make your point, I think it makes you sound snotty, like I should know something that I clearly don't know.  Chances are, though, that I already know it, and it may not have been that obvious for me.  So, if you please, use that word with care.

That will be all.

Respect

Can I vent a little?  I'm going to; it is my blog after all.

Yesterday, while I was at work, I took several phone calls where customers became exceedingly upset with me and the company.  It's understandable:  many felt like they had been billed incorrectly.  People evidently get pretty touchy when you start talking about money.  I don't really relate to that because I am a poor college student and, thus, have no money.  In fact, you've probably heard me talk about how little money I have.  But this is beside the point I'm trying to make with this post...

Anyway, people don't like it when they think we've overcharged them.  Despite my best intentions (for them and the company), people didn't seem to think that I cared enough about them to fix the problem.  I did, though; if anything, my time at Tahitian Noni taught me how to care for these people on the phone that I would likely never speak to again.  I want to help them.  So, I would go about my investigations, find out that they haven't been overcharged, and return to the call to tell them the good news.  Imagine my shock when they don't believe me!  I try to explain why (I've even had people get out their calculators so they can follow the math), but that doesn't hardly ever change their opinion that they have been overcharged.  Because they could see a larger charge than they were expecting on their bank statements, they refused to believe what I was saying/explaining.  Then, they would get super mad at me because they thought that I was trying to shake them off or lie to them about their bill.  One guy even asked me if I knew what I was doing and how to do my job.

It crushed me yesterday.  I wanted to quit.  The only reason I stayed is because this is my first real week on the phones.  Maybe it was pride that kept me there:  I'd like to think that I'm not a quitter, and I'd really like to prove to some of these people how incredibly rude they were.  Today, the phone calls were significantly better.  I even spoke to one of the same people today as I did yesterday (he didn't remember me, though).

I guess the point I'm trying to make is this:  be respectful.  I don't know what was running through these people's brains to make them throw out all manners and social graces.  Maybe when I actually have money, I'll think that way when it looks like I'm being overcharged.  But these people showed me just how low people can go when they refuse to accept that they could be wrong.  I understand that they are upset; in an economy that is less than stellar, money is tight.  But does it give them the right to treat another human being like garbage?  I would venture so far as to say, "No..."

I try to be the agent that everyone would love to speak to in a call center.  I don't generally push things (unless I'm being pushed to push), and I try to get you on your way as quickly as possible.  I also try to respect your wishes.  If I accidentally cut you off mid-sentence, I apologize and ask for you to continue.  If you don't sound super-pleased to be on the phone, I tend to call you Mr. or Mrs. instead of by your first name.  I try to say "please" and "thank you" when I make requests.

Is it too much to ask for respect in turn?  If I can be respectful while you are insulting my intelligence and humanity, certainly you can soften the blow a bit.  Certainly, there are better ways to handle ourselves.  We as humans are capable of higher thought and reasoning:  we have logic and intuition at our disposal.  Let's act like it and treat others as we would want to be treated.

An awesome-sounding name...

So, for all of those who think the name of my blog needs some panache (it's French, look it up), here's a post where you can all submit your candidates.

Let the party begin!

Luke's Story

So, here is a link to an autobiography that my friends wrote for me.  Trust me, most of my ideas were vetoed.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1H1szpRaFd1iI2R6L5iwRfa6jIHM6LEUZxo9DzN_5Crs/edit?pli=1

PS:  You kind of have to have been there....

Hey everyone.  I've been thinking about  trying out this whole blogging thing for about a week now, and I've finally gotten down to it.  Really, that just means that I'm bored out of my mind right now and I need something to occupy my hands that isn't a stupid video game (my mom will be SO proud that I just said that).

So, this isn't really supposed to be anything special.  I don't plan on chronicling every single aspect of every day of my life.  I'm not THAT crazy.  But, I do plan on noting special things that happen from day-to-day.  For instance, I taught someone how to copy and paste yesterday over the phone.  I felt pretty proud of myself.  Watch out tech support world, here I come!

Also, I'm going to try and play around with what links I can.  I think I'll start publishing my Challenge here.  For those that don't know, my Challenge is really my mom's idea.  Basically, I am supposed to report on something I learned from my scripture study throughout the week.  I've been really sucky at it for a long time now, but I want to get better.

Also, I want to post a link to my story that I have written.  I started it in 9th grade and finished it while I was on my mission.  It filled out a total of five (count 'em, 5) notebooks.  Unfortunately, I have misplaced most of them.  The only one I have is number five, which finishes the story.  So, I'll try and post that one and then post the rest as I finish recreating the story.  So, if you want to read it like a real book and not know what happens at the end, you'll just have to wait for the recreation.  Otherwise, you can kill a TON of time by reading out of the fifth notebook.  It's pretty huge.

Enjoy!